Umm I'm too high to move.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
