I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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