all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
