I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
