Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Nicole vs. Life
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
