oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
