If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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