I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
