That's intense
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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