Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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