I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
