Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
