saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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