Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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