I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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