is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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