gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
