Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
