Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
