do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
