Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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