I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
