I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
