I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
