I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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