Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
