Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
