Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
