It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
