i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
