that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
