I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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