A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Randomize
