all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
