so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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