He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
