Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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