Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
