I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
