worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This is the high leading the old right now
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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