Who did Billy Mays play for?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
