so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
