Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
