She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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