I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
