someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
