Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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