Welp...herpes.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize