remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
