you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
