i jhust puked up my retainher.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
